You know the conversation. It’s been on your list for weeks.
It’s not a crisis. Someone’s follow-ups keep slipping, or their tone in meetings has an edge, or a handoff keeps landing on someone else’s desk. Every Monday you tell yourself this is the week. Every Friday it’s still on the list.
I’ll be honest. I just did the same thing with this newsletter. Five weeks off, and every week I told myself next week would be a better time.
What most managers do.
They wait for the right moment. After the review cycle. After the project ships. After things calm down.
The other person isn’t waiting with you. They’ve already noticed something is off, and they’re filling the silence with their own guess. It’s usually worse than what you were going to say. And the longer you wait, the more settled that guess gets.
What actually works.
Run a quick three-month test on the one you’ve been putting off.
What happens if I say nothing for three more months?
Be honest. Does it fix itself, or does it get bigger?What are they already guessing from my silence?
Assume they’ve noticed. They have.What’s one sentence I could say this week?
Not the whole conversation. One sentence.
“I’d like to talk about how the handoffs have been going. Can we grab 20 minutes Thursday?”
That sentence is the hard part. Once it’s out, the conversation has a date, and a date is something you can prepare for.
The conversation you have this week is almost always easier than the one you’ll have in three months.
Something new.
I’m building a free Hard Conversations mini-course. Five short lessons, one a day, each with a script you can use. On day one you pick one real conversation, and by day five you’ve opened it, held it and followed up.
It’s coming soon. If you want in first, hit reply with the word “course” and I’ll put you on the list.
P.S. What’s the conversation you’ve been putting off the longest? Hit reply and tell me. I read every one, and I might write it next.
Was this useful? Forward it to a manager you know.
If someone forwarded this to you — Subscribe free at hardconversations.co
Troy Treleaven | Hard Conversations
Dale Carnegie | Lead with Impact Program
My Calendar Link